I feel like crying. I need to clean my soul, empty my spirit, let it all out. In order to start crying I just need music. Not one in particular, it depends on the … I don’t know what it depends on. I just start listening to some tunes and suddenly I’m crying. Washing away the pain. I’m not depressed, I’m just a bit sad and in pain and it’s ok. Everything is all right. We all have highs and lows, ups and downs, life is made of all this. Right now I’m a bit blue, wanting to cry, some other time I’ll be happy and wanting to laugh and smile.
There were a lot of things that were a pattern in my life. Choices I made, feelings I’ve shown and others I’ve hidden, people who I showed or hidden my inner self. One could say that the same thing was happening all over again in a different time, in a different location, with a different person, history was repeating itself, the same pattern as before. Yet something was indeed different and it was intricately beautiful, some quirks, some feelings of warmth and yet it seems I’m not the one pining. It seems that, I have grown, evolved, started to take good care of myself and even though I never stopped loving, I have followed my path, on my own in my deep and sweet solitude. It seems I have let go of everything other than myself.